Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I Don't Love You

Warning: This blog post is not about a local Chicago all friend garage rock band.

I rarely use this blog to talk about anything personal, especially when it doesn't pertain to music, but as I was laying in Savasana today in yoga I couldn't stop thinking about Kim Kardashian, and it was pissing me off. I'm supposed to be relaxed in Corpse Pose; it's my absolute favourite part of class, but there I was thinking about how stupid the world is.


1) Why is her divorce news in the first place?
 2) Why do I even care?


Asides from the obvious disgust about the astronomical amount of money spent on the wedding (Estimated at 10 million.  Just to put that in perspective, that sum could have built 200 schools in poor countries around the world for kids who desperately want an education Nicholas D. Kristof) I am more disgusted by the state of the word love.

Last night I read Ms. Kardashian's public apology to fans (fans of what?) about her separation after a lousy 72 days. In the cliche packed, totally soulless, rantings of a woman, who is probably a functioning illiterate, I read, "I love with all of my heart and soul" and " I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly".

How can you possibly love someone with all your heart and soul and then dump them less than 3 months later? And it's not just her. I can attest to using this word incorrectly on a number of occasions, but I have made an effort to never let that happen again.  Saying I love you is too easy these days.  

 
I love you is, and should be, the ultimate. There can't be I love you lots, or I love you more.  It has also become a lazy way of expressing how you feel.  I have been in a relationship for over a year now and have not said I love you once. I've said things like, "I love your face" because I definitely do.  It's a great face, and I also love looking at it, but I have not uttered those 3 words to him.  There is a simple explanation. I don't love him. He doesn't love me. It's fine. 
 
In the past I would have (and always did) jump the gun on that phrase. In my ignorant youth I may have said it within weeks of starting a new relationship.  Confusing love and lust is easy and forgivable when you're 19.  I even confused it at 23 when I got married (possibly a less forgivable mistake).  But Kim Kardashian, at 31 (according to her wikipedia - I think she looks much older) should have learned by now.  Yet from reading her apology note to the internet (the internet being the most saddened by the news of the divorce) I can't help but feel like she hasn't learned a thing.  She'll be dating some other dude within a month and telling him she loves him too...with all her heart and soul.




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